The following are Ann Gettis’ (Jeremiah’s mom) remarks at the Lobby Day Kickoff Event held in St. Paul, MN. We are at a very exciting time here in Minnesota with a Safe Schools for All bill and a Marriage Equality bill both making their way through our Legislature. What hope we have!! Thank you to all who work so hard for our youth.
Lobby Day Kickoff Event, April 17, 2013
My husband and I live in a rural area south of the cities where we raised our 4 children, Jonathan, Jeremiah, Rachel and Ronya. Our kids attended a small school in a nearby small town. Early in their school years I began to overhear the kids talking about bullying that was going on, especially towards Jeremiah. When I would ask him about it, he would beg me not to call the school. He said that it would just get worse. So I usually didn’t.
The bullying got worse in middle school. When Jeremiah was in 10th grade he and his siblings decided to go to a charter school in another town. We had hoped that he would make new friends there and have a fresh start. However, that wasn’t the case. He was bullied there just as badly. I realize now that his self esteem had been so beaten down that it made him an easy target.
Probably the worst incident that I was aware of was when some kids duct taped Jeremiah like a mummy so he couldn’t move his arms and legs. They took off his shoes and pushed him down a snow covered hill outside of the school.
At the new school we were told that Jeremiah needed to learn to stand up for himself. I am sure this did more harm than good, making him feel even more like a loser because he was not able to find the strength to stand up for himself. The bullying became so bad that Jeremiah quit going to school his junior year.
We had hoped with Jeremiah being away from the bullying at school he would heal from the damage that had been done to his self esteem. But ultimately, the despair and pain became unbearable for him and on October 22, 2006 Jeremiah ended his life here on earth. He was 21 years old. In a letter he wrote that he no longer wanted to live in a world where people were so cruel. He wrote several pages about the bullying he endured saying that when the teachers found out it just got worse. He stated that the bullying left him with no self esteem and feeling like a loser.
Recently finishing my studies in bullying prevention we created Jeremiah’s Hope for Kindness, a nonprofit through which we do bullying prevention work. I have learned a lot about bullying and its prevention and I believe that my son’s unbearable pain and despair was preventable. I believe that if there had been a bullying prevention plan in my kids’ school using best practices as in the proposed Safe Schools for All bill Jeremiah would still be with us.
When Jeremiah was 8 years old, I took him and his siblings to a Lutheran’s Concerned service at St. Paul’s Reformation church in St. Paul to show their support for someone who was and is very dear to our family and who happens to be gay. Jeremiah adored this person and would be so happy that along with passing a safe schools bill, it may also soon be possible in MN for this loved one to marry his partner. Bullying is violence. We cannot break the cycle of violence until we stop discrimination, bigotry, hate and oppression of all kinds.
Our lives changed forever that October day in 2006 when we were thrust into an unbearably painful existence. We miss Jeremiah’s sweet smile and his laugh. We miss everything about him. There is a hole in our lives that can never be filled. But today, there is comfort in knowing that Jeremiah, Justin Aaberg, Rachel Ehmke and all the others did not die in vain. The loss of these precious young lives has inspired change that will create school environments where every single child feels safe, respected and cared for. I am so grateful to OutFront Minnesota’s (http://outfrontmn.org ) staff and supporters who have worked so hard to get this bill to where it is today. Your support and commitment to the well being of all youth places you at hero status in the eyes of our family and countless other families. Thank you.
