Tips for Parents/Caregivers
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- Talk about school, bullying and healthy relationships regularly with your child (Conversation starter tips- http://store.samhsa.gov/shin/content//SMA08-4321/SMA08-4321.pdf)
- Role play real or possible scenarios your child is concerned about
- Create a family charter by discussing how family members would like to be treated, how they would like their home environment to feel and how to accomplish that.
- Address bullying behavior in the home.
- Practice self compassion and positive self talk and affirmations with your children.
- Teach and model kind and respectful behavior towards everyone at home and in the community.
- Have frequent discussions regarding respect, kindness and compassion and what they look and feel like and how we can foster them in ourselves and each other.
- Talk about messages in the media and which support kind and respectful behavior and which do not.
- Practice kindness and compassion as a family to self and others.
- Volunteer as a family in the community.
- As a family read books and watch movies that show kind and compassionate behavior and discuss them.
- Increase empathy and gratitude by discussing and regularly recognizing and showing appreciation to those who help to make our lives easier, safer and healthier, i.e. sanitary workers, custodians, road workers, etc
- Create personal and family rituals which include showing gratitude and kindness to others.
- Practice peaceful parenting (more info here).
- Speak up when you see or hear disrespectful behavior.
- Be involved in your child’s school
- Find out what the school’s policy on bullying is, as well as what their prevention and intervention plan is.
- Get to know the staff and students.
- Volunteer in the classroom, in the cafeteria and/or at recess.
- Go to PTA meetings.
- Organize with other parents and become involved in bullying prevention efforts in your schools (see Action Ideas tab)
- Find out what the school’s policy on bullying is, as well as what their prevention and intervention plan is.
If you suspect or know your child is being bullied:
- Reassure your child it is not their fault.
- Discuss a plan with your child.
- Role play bullying scenarios so your child can rehearse possible ways to respond.
- Help your child get involved with and make new friends in activities outside of and away from school.
- Practice positive self talk and affirmations with your child.
- Determine if your child needs professional help to deal with the trauma of being bullied.
- Document everything your child tells you, what you observe and all communication with the school.
- Talk to the principal and teachers and submit concerns to them in writing/e-mail saving all communication.
- Organize with their parents and caring adults to meet with the school administration.
- Discuss and get in writing how they will address/stop the bullying
- Require all staff be made aware of the bullying.
- Ask to be updated regularly.
- Organize with other parents and get involved in bullying prevention efforts (spreading kindness, respect, building community, practicing intervention) in the school. Learn about effective bullying prevention and restorative practices in other places here on our website.
If the bullying does not stop:
- Talk to the Superintendent
- Go to the school board
- Contact your State Department of Education
- Contact your representatives and senators
- Go to the media (Give this careful thought and of course be sure your child is okay with it)
- Organize with other parents and community members and together insist that the school keep students safe.
- Continue to document everything.
- Continue to talk with, listen to and reassure your child daily.
- Don’t give up!! Contact us at jeremiahshopefk@gmail.com
When your child is a bystander:
- Role play bullying scenarios and various ways to help
-Tell the person bullying to stop
-Join with other friends and surround and protect the child who is being targeted
-Support, befriend and include the targeted child in activities
- Encourage your child to:
-Not participate in rumors, gossip and other forms of bullying
-Report bullying to at least two caring adults (decide who they might be beforehand).
-Get involved in fostering kindness, respect and empathy (bullying prevention) in their home, school and community.
When your child is bullying others:
- Have your child join you in becoming involved in bullying prevention efforts. Offer some ideas from the list of Action Ideas and let your child choose what they would like to help with.
- Do role plays and read books to increase empathy for others.
- Foster empathy and kindness in your child using ideas and activities in the articles listed under Compassionate Parenting.
- Begin doing community service or service learning type projects as a family on a regular basis to help increase empathy and a sense of belonging.
- Role model kind and respectful behavior in all interactions.
- Work with your child’s school to help stop the bullying behavior.
*Remember that all behavior is purposeful. Behavior is an attempt to meet a need. Work with your child to find out what need they are trying to meet when they bully others. Provide pro-social ways to meet those needs instead.
Additional information for the above situations at Helpful Links for Parents and Caregivers
Get involved in stopping and preventing bullying in your child’s school – Action Ideas
I am having trouble with some of the links below so am currently working on fixing the problem. Thank you for your patience!
Links with Information for Parents and Caregivers
Signs of and what to do if your child is being bullied:
Tips for talking with your child if you suspect he is being bullied and suggestions for what to do -compiled by JHFK
http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_What_Do_About -Tips for parents
http://www.stopbullying.gov/get-help-now/index.html -Get Help Now
http://store.samhsa.gov/shin/content//SMA08-4321/SMA08-4321.pdf – conversation starter cards for adults to discuss bullying with kids
http://www.bullypolice.org/help_for_parents.html –Suggestions for Parents When Dealing With Bullying
http://bullypta.com – forum for parents to discuss bullying problems
http://www.overcomebullying.org/parents-bullying-stories.html – forum for parents of bullied kids
http://www.olweus.org/public/bullying_laws.page – click on a state and it will list the laws regarding bullying and harassment.
http://www.pacer.org/bullying/resources/publications – Downloadable templates for notifying the school that your child is being bullied
http://www.documatica-forms.com/bullying/?cset=yes –Free, downloadable Notice of Harassment Kits for school bullying
If the bullying doesn’t stop:
http://stopbullying.gov/topics/get_help/index.html
http://www.bullypolice.org/help_for_parents.html
http://www.education.com/question/school-stop-bullying-do
If your child is bullying others:
http://www.education.com/reference/article/actions-parents-of-bullies -Ten Actions Parents Can Take If Your Child Is Bullying Others
http://www.education.com/reference/article/what-to-do-if-child-is-a-bully -What do I do if my child is bullying others?
http://www.squidoo.com/stopthebullyingearly -How to Stop Your Young Child from Becoming a Bully
http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/no_bullying.html -Teaching Kids Not to Bully
http://www.allthatwomenwant.com/accusedofbullying.htm -What to Do if Your Child is Accused of Being a Bully by Steve McChesney
http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/bullying_-_your_child_bullying.html
Sibling bullying:
http://www.more4kids.info/322/sibling-bullying – Sibling Bullying or Sibling Rivalry?
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/5724292/what_is_sibling_bullying.html?cat=25 -What is sibling bullying?
Cyberbullying:
http://www.ncpc.org/topics/cyberbullying/stop-cyberbullying -What Parents Can Do About Cyberbullying
http://www.loveourchildrenusa.org/parent_cyberbullying.php -Parent Education: Internet safety facts
http://www.pbs.org/parents/childrenandmedia/article-protecting-kids-from-cyberbullying.html -Protecting Kids from Cyberbullying
http://www.stopcyberbullying.org/parents/index.html – lots of information for kids and parents
http://www.commonsensemedia.org/cyberbullying – lots of information on cyberbullying
http://www.cybermentors.org.uk/parents-and-carers -Information for parents and also lots of information and support for kids
Tips for prevention:
http://stopbullying.gov/parents/working_with_the_school/index.html
http://www.cyberbullying.us/Top_Ten_Tips_Parents_Cyberbullying_Prevention.pdf
http://www.education.com/reference/article/ten-actions-to-eliminate-bullying/
Online or homeschooling options:
Websites with info on bullying:
http://www.olweus.org/public/bullying_laws.page – click on a state and find info regarding laws on bullying and harassment.
http://www.education.com/topic/school-bullying-teasing/ – info for parents and educators
http://www.overcomebullying.org/index.html – lots and lots of info on youth and adult bullying, support groups, etc.
http://puresight.com/General/parent-resource-center-puresight.html
http://www.bulliesout.com/ – Has lots of info for students, parents and schools. Also has mentoring for kids.
http://www.bullyingnoway.com.au/
http://www.stompoutbullying.org/
Relational bullying:
http://www.bullyingprevention.org/repository//Best%20Practices%20PDFs/RelationalAgression.pdf -Relational Aggression: Tips for Parents
http://creativecrossings.blogspot.com/2009/04/top-ten-tips-for-families-dealing-with.html -Top Ten Tips for Families Dealing with Relational Aggression
http://www.boostconference.org/workshop_pdf/Girls%20and%20Aggression.pdf -Girls and Aggression: Dealing with in your after-school program
http://www.hopehouseonline.org/pages/girls.shtml -Youth and Family Resource Center, Inc. (has links and information on relational aggression)
http://www.girlshealth.gov/relationships/friendships/index.cfm#cliques -Information on relationships and bullying
Websites and support groups for kids:
http://www.stompoutbullying.org/livechat_portal.php – webpage and chat room for kids and teens
http://www.theinsite.org/index.html – website for teens dealing with a variety of issues including personal relationships
http://www.marketwire.com/press-release/teens-share-personal-stories-about-bullying-on-stageoflifecom-1538627.htm – place for teens to share stories about bullying
http://www.childline.org.uk/Pages/Home.aspx – website with chatline for kids who are being bullied
http://www.bullying.org/index.cfm -Click on “want to share” -has links to support groups for kids who are bullied and for parents-
http://www.bulliesout.com – has lots of info and mentoring for kids
http://www.cybermentors.org.uk – has mentors for youth by trained youth
http://www.kidscape.org.uk/childrenteens/index.asp – info and support for kids
http://genaustin.org – geared towards girls
http://www.girlsinc.org -geared towards girls
http://www.opheliaproject.org/main/index.htm -geared towards girls
Got Your Back – Avoiding girl drama –standing up to bullying) is a page for girls to learn, share stories about bullying and support each other
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98WkdOppkJE – this is a type of therapy recommended by a supporter of Jeremiah’s Hope for Kindness for kids who have been bullied
Ideas for adults and students to prevent bullying and create kind and caring school
http://www.jeremiahshopeforkindness.org/parents-caring-adults/action-ideas
Additional helpful links under Compassionate Parenting and Websites