Why Kindness?
For me personally, a significant reason for choosing kindness is because my precious son, Jeremiah, wrote in his suicide note that he no longer wanted to live in a world where people were so cruel. Now I have always believed in the importance of kindness, but Jeremiah’s life, his experiences on this earth and his final words have led me to a new awareness, a truth that despite my fear and anxiety about what others will think, I feel compelled to share, to pursue, to live by and to support others in their efforts to be and to live kindness and compassion and love.
It has become clear to me that we need to go further than performing random acts of kindness. While random acts of kindness are very important, by themselves they are not enough. We need radical, transformative kindness. I believe we need kindness across the board not just when it is convenient or towards people we like or are neutral towards. I am talking about being kind and compassionate even to those we don’t like, even to those we despise. I am talking about showing kindness, respect and compassion to every human being (including ourselves) regardless of how old they are, who they are or use to be, what they look like or use to look like, where they live or use to live, what their religion is or was, what their occupation is or was, what their culture is or was, what their ability is, who they love or have loved, what they believe or use to believe, what they do or have done. I am talking about being kind, respectful and compassionate towards all animals and living beings. I am talking about being kind and compassionate towards our mother earth. I am talking about being kind, respectful and compassionate period- without judging first whether they deserve it. Ultimately, I am talking about embodying, being filled with and living so that we cannot help but to exude kindness, compassion and love.
Is such a kindness transformation possible?
What if we were to pay close attention (be mindful) of our thoughts throughout the day and when we find ourselves being critical, judgmental or unkind in our thoughts we would replace them with kind and compassionate ones? What if were to examine our attitudes? Do we have attitudes that are unkind, perhaps judgmental or even hurtful? Do we have beliefs or attitudes that view some people as not as good as us or maybe not worthy of respect, kindness or compassion?
What if we try to think before everything we say, before every single word that comes out of our mouth and if it is unkind refrain from saying it? Can we learn to be more diligent gatekeepers of the words we say and write? Can we go even further and be careful to choose words that feel kind and gentle. Can we decide against using words or phrases that have a violent or harsh feel or meaning or origin? Even seeming innocuous words have power. Can we choose kinder and gentler words and get the same meaning across?
What if we were very careful to behave in ways that were kind and respectful? Can we go even further and seek out opportunities to demonstrate kindness? Smiling is a powerful way to share kindness and let others know they matter. What if we commit to smiling at everyone we see throughout our day, perhaps even randomly smiling when no one is around? 🙂 What if we simply practiced going through our day with a smile on our face? 🙂 What would happen if we spent more time thinking about others needs? What if we listened more and talked less?
What if we showed respect and compassion towards all beings on this earth? What if we treated the earth with the same respect and compassion we treat our human mother? What if we became educated about the products we buy, use and throw away, how they are made, what and who is harmed in the process? What if we considered every consumption, purchase and whether the impact of its production, use and disposal of was helping or harming our earth? What if we were willing to go without, to share, to do a little extra work and to take a little extra time to avoid harming other living beings or the earth?
What if we were to habitually examine and reflect on our thoughts, our attitudes, our words and our behavior for ways that they may be directly or indirectly supporting harm, disrespect or even abuse towards other beings or the earth?
And then imagine if when we realized or discovered we were directly or indirectly harming, being disrespectful or abusive to other beings or the earth that we would apologize, make amends, repair harm done and find kind and compassionate ways to replace the attitudes, words or behavior that caused the harm.
……..Take a minute to imagine what this world would look like…….
Wow… I imagine that in this new world every child and every adult would feel loved, important, cared about and like they belong here with all of us. I imagine that all animals would also be cared for and respected for the amazing and important beings they are to this world. I imagine that our Mother Earth would not be suffering from the destruction that is upon her now.
The fabulous news is that kindness no matter whether we are observing it, receiving it or giving it is very good for us!! Studies demonstrate that it makes us feel better emotionally and physically. Try putting this to the test for yourself. Think about a time when you experienced kindness. How did you feel? How did it seem others felt? Now, think about a time when you experienced disrespect, hurtful or abusive words or behavior? How did you feel then? How did it appear others felt?
It helps me to think of myself as sort of an observer of my life. I am overseeing my thoughts, words and behavior. And as with anything the more I do this the more it becomes habit. I work at examining my feelings and what are the underlying thoughts that are contributing to them. Am I taking things personally? Is it that my ego that feels threatened or attacked? Usually it is my ego. When I let go of my ego a transformation can take place. When I can acknowledge the part that my ego is playing it is much easier for me to let go of my anger or those feelings that are behind wanting to strike out. Then it is easier to get to a place where I feel no need to defend my ego (myself) and choose the path of kindness and compassion. I am not my ego. You are not your ego. Our essence is love. Our essence is compassion. I like to imagine us all as our essence or spirit and we are all so kind and so loving to each other, to everybody.
Like all behavior kindness is contagious, so the more we do it the more those around us are likely to continue to spread it. Also, we are likely to find that after we have had practice thinking, speaking and acting from a place of kindness and compassion that our heart, our anger, our dislike and even our hate begins to soften and even perhaps, dissipate. Imagine being free of anger and hate.
The older I get, the more experiences I have, the more I read and study and listen to others, the more I am convinced that kindness, compassion and love are what matters. I am so sure of it now that I am no longer embarrassed or worried about what others will think when I express this belief. I have been amazed over and over to find that when I am around kindness I get the indescribable feeling that I am at home, in a spiritual sense. I get the unmistakable feeling that this is what we are here for; this is what it is all about. This is it!!! Kindness, compassion love are what it is all about!!
We are all connected. We all do better when we all do better. What affects you in one way or another eventually will affect me. This is how it is. This is how our world works. We have proof of it everywhere. It is within our reach to change the direction our world is headed permeated with fear, intolerance, judgment, hate, violence, poverty, war and the destruction of our precious home, the earth itself to one where every child and adult feels loved, cared about and important to this world, where all living beings and the earth are treated with kindness, respect and compassion. I believe that we can create homes, schools, communities and societies where being kind and compassionate are the norm, where everyone is loved and cared about just as exactly as they are, where no one has to prove they are worthy of our most fundamental needs of care, of support, of respect, of understanding, of compassion and of love.
Again I ask, is it actually possible to do all that I am proposing and what has been proposed by many others- to be filled with and live from kindness, compassion and love? I think it is. I believe it is. I believe that transformation can happen from observing, receiving and giving kindness and compassion and love. And I believe that it will take hard work, extreme determination, perseverance, care and support of our own selves and each other along the way. It will take an abiding conviction that it is possible, it is where we come from, it is our destiny and it is after all who we are.
Will you join me and all the others working for change? Together we can create a world filled with kindness, filled with compassion, filled with love and filled with peace!! ☮ ❤☺
On October 22, the anniversary of Jeremiah’s suicide, we invite you to join us wherever you are as we renew our dedication to being and spreading kindness by Choosing Kindness Everyday. Let us commit to Choose Kindness anew everyday hereafter. You can find a Choose Kindness Everyday toolkit (including the poster pictured here), information and more resources for families, schools, workplaces, places of worship, youth and adult groups, civic and government agencies and communities as a whole on our Choose Kindness Everyday page. Please join the event and share pictures and stories on our Facebook Choose Kindness Everyday event wall. Please let us know if your family, school, organization or community will be participating!! Thank you! 🙂 ~Ann (Jeremiah’s mom)
