On October 22, 2006, my husband and I experienced every parent’s worst nightmare. Our beloved son, Jeremiah, ended his life at age 21. In a painfully long letter he described the bullying he endured in school stating that it left him with no self-esteem and feeling like a loser.  Committed to preventing other youth from suffering as Jeremiah did, I returned to college and received my master’s degree in community psychology with a focus on bullying prevention.  We also created a nonprofit, Jeremiah’s Hope for Kindness, through which we do bullying prevention work.

The negative impact for those involved in bullying is profound and includes an increased likelihood of physical and psychological illness and trauma, substance abuse, truancy, lower academic achievement and increased risk for suicide ideation. Students who abuse peers are more likely to abuse partners, coworkers and family members as adults.

We are not talking about playful teasing and having fun between friends. We are not talking about normal conflict between youth. We are talking about repeated, hurtful behavior in which the victim has difficulty standing up for him or herself. The shame and humiliation felt by those experiencing this type of abuse has devastating effects on self-esteem and self worth.

When bullying is not addressed our communities also suffer from increased health care needs, increase in family violence and increase in crime and involvement of the judicial system. Most importantly there is the enormous loss of potential, hope and well being of thousands of precious youth.

The Minnesota legislature will soon be voting on the Safe and Supportive Minnesota Schools Act. Currently, our state has the weakest anti-bullying law in the nation. The Safe Schools Act, based on recommendations from Governor Dayton’s Task Force for the Prevention of School Bullying, is a comprehensive bill that incorporates best practices and will help address and prevent bullying effectively. School districts would be required to establish an anti-bullying policy that includes: clear definitions of bullying, harassment, and intimidation; enumerated protections for students who are most likely to be bullied or harassed; training and resources for students, staff, and school volunteers on bullying prevention and intervention.

The bill also calls for the establishment of a School Climate Center to be created within the Department of Education that will provide: assistance for schools, parents, and students; policy review and development; data collection and analysis of reported bullying; identification of emerging trends; and support for school sites recovering from incidents.

When Jeremiah was bullied in the 90’s we didn’t know what we know today about bullying and its prevention. Today there is no excuse.  We know the effects of bullying are far-reaching and tragic.  We also know what works to prevent it. Schools that use best practices with fidelity do over time see bullying decrease.  This bill will help ensure that schools employ effective strategies to address and prevent bullying.

I believe that Jeremiah’s unbearable pain and despair was preventable.  I believe if there had been a bullying prevention policy as this bill requires with trained and dedicated adults to implement and sustain it, he would still be with us.

Bullying is violence and it is everyone’s problem.  Laws are only the beginning.  We must examine our own attitudes and behavior to learn if and how we are contributing to environments that support disrespectful behavior. Talking with each other and with our kids about what is kind and respectful behavior and what is not is also a crucial component to preventing bullying.

We can no longer stand by and do nothing while countless youth suffer such humiliation, despair and hopelessness. It is our responsibility to keep them safe and help them grow and thrive. The Safe and Supportive Minnesota Schools Act provides the resources and tools needed to foster school environments where every student feels safe and respected.  Our children deserve no less.

Ann Gettis is the Executive Director of Jeremiah’s Hope for Kindness, which does bullying prevention work.